do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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