Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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