i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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