He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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