I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
