I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
