the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
