Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
