first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
