So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
