Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
