I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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