I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
