Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
