You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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