Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
