Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
