worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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