At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
