I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
