There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
