I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
