My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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