That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
