He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
