saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
