maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
