I puked a lego.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
