my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
