i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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