just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
