Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
