Slut skills are useful in every country.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
