My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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