you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
