Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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