make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
