I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
