He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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