My balls are so social today.
smell my finger.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
