I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and she was petting her beer can
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
