I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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