We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
