I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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