needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
