Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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