I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
