I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
