about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
