i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
