shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
not ubering you a puppy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
