So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
