I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
