Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to have your abortion
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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