If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
