Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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